A modern day ode to Dolly Parton's "Bargain Store." I bow to Dolly's brilliance. 99 Cent Stores are amazing. At a 99 cent store, everyone is immediately on a level playing field. No pretentions. Everyone feels at home. That's what this song is about.
Get some stuff to mop your floor
Get some Christmas shit to decorate your front door
Maybe get a 6 pack of Coors (pour yourself a cool tall boy)
Get a CD of The Doors
Get that video w/Meg Ryan & Val Kilmer about the Doors
Get a Door!
Come on, come on, be a big slutty broke-ass whore. Shop at the 99 Cent Store.
Come on, come on, be a big slutty broke-ass whore. Shop at the 99 Cent Store.
Get a can of pork and beans
A baseball hat that’s got the logo of your favorite football team
Get a pair of waist 48 inch jeans (you can be his sexy queen-size queen)
Get some Robitussin for your cough
Get rid of your bug-bites with a busted-up can of “Off”
Come on, get off!
Come on, come on, be a big slutty broke-ass whore. Shop at the 99 Cent Store.
Come on, come on, be a big slutty broke-ass whore. Shop at the 99 Cent Store.
Get a plastic salad bowl
Get a broke-ass one-ply toilet roll
A fridgerator magnet that you almost stole (a magnet for a guy named Noel)
And if it’s your lucky day you can find some chips and salsa with an old expiration date
You can find a date
(CHORUS)
Dolly Parton's life was like unto a bargain store and yeah that suits me too
Come inside my little bargain store
See just why they call me the...
See just why they call me the....
Feel just why they call me the...
99 cent (Hey, where ya goin' sugar?)
98 cent store.